I have been reading over this blog because I am going to share it with Garrett and Natalie. I am divorced. I am ok, not happy but ok. Don has married his Brazilian paramour. Fuck that fucking fucker.
When I am reading over the last entries, when he said, "Good luck in your new life", I can't tell you how hurtful that one statement was. Why can't something bad happen to him? Why can't he break his neck, be in a wheelchair, and I come up to him and whisper in his ear "Good luck in your new life"? Because that is exactly what he did to me.
My decisions these past 2 years are partly based on wanting to have a better life then Don. I am very competitive. I realized this has been driving so many of my decisions. Acknowledging that feeling is liberating, but dealing with it will be difficult.
There are times I think through all of the steps it would take to end this pain. It feels like I will never be happy and my life will be dull and flat and full of vacations by myself on tour buses with lesbians. No, I don't miss that fucker, I just want him to hurt.
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