PTSD

I married a man who was too young.  He thought that he wanted to get married, but when it came right down to it, he did not - at least not to me. That's okay.

What's not okay is how he destroyed the little pleasures I had in my life and now he wonders why I resent him. My son was born 4 days after Christmas. The winters were harsh in Virginia back then. Everyone was cold and energy resources were limited - even in 1993. The government resorted to rolling outages. Me and Garrett would snuggle on the couch and sleep through the outages. I was so tired and so was he. My body was sluggish and didn't feel like my own. I needed to heal. And what made it better was my beautiful baby boy. So sweet. So perfect.  We just sat around and loved on each other.

Then he came home...

"What did you do all day sit around and sleep??? The house is filthy. Where's dinner??"

I know he was jealous.

3 months later he tried to replace me with a more suitable mother for Garrett.

He brought that horrible woman into my house with my baby and acted like a family. And then they patted themselves on the back that they were such good people.

I never loved him again. I stayed because I knew he was mean enough to take my baby away from me and so was that hideous woman.

But now he wants me to be happy that he can retire early while I go to work. I just couldn't and I didn't know why until I had that flashback of my day in the snow with my little baby boy those 23 years ago. 

------ and he left for good 10/30/2017 by going to his Twitter girlfriend in Belo Horizonte, Brazil. While I was at work, he was Facetiming her and I believe he was sextexting her as well. I went to work and he just left and didn't tell me where he was going, if or when he was coming back. If I were a great big man, I would beat his head against a rock.